The first thing a man reading this blog should know - if he hasn't already learned this little piece of logic by himself - NEVER GET MARRIED!
This is a stupid mistake that I have made twice. The second time is the cincher for me and one thing I can guarantee is that I will never do it again.
I am a Senior Programmer/Analyst for a NYC based publishing company, and I feel I make a fairly god living at it - That is I DID make a fairly good living at it. We have three children, one hers, one ours, one mine - but I consider them all equally mine. But of course, in the Divorce laws, only one child is considered - ours. I have no problem supporting my child, In fact I WANT to help support my child. But what about the other two? Have my responsibilities for them somehow vaporized instantly when the divorce motion was filed? No - Of course not. I'm trying to help one through college, and another while she's incarcerated. Are these expenses taken into account in Divorce proceedings? No - as far as the courts are concerned they don't exist.
We had an Alimony hearing yesterday (9/1/06). In Pennsylvania Alimony is calculated solely on income vs income. Do I make much more money than my spouse? Yes. But is that the whole picture? No.
When you factor in marital debts (which I am responsible for, Lord knows she's never paid a bill on time in her life), My medical expenses,child support and normal living costs I have been living with a negative cash flow situation for over a year now. After the Alimony hearing, I just lost the money for my medical expense, which may put me in a very bad situation. The Hearing master actually told me that paying Alimony was more important than my life!
So - I can sit back and mope, or I can try to do something about it. Normally I would mope. Not this time. I'm pissed.